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We don’t know what we don’t know...

I don’t know.


I want to learn more.

These phrases are almost as taboo as talking about sexuality. And entirely out of reach when we are asking for help and want to learn about sexuality. Curiosity is cute in little kids, but adults are conditioned to believe that asking for help or being curious, i.e.,...

Latest Sex & Love

Dispelling a few dangerous myths

If you follow the news in any way, you’ve probably seen the concern from some conservatives and religious organizations that transgender youth are destroying sports, can’t be trusted in bathrooms, or need to be “fixed.”

Let’s gather around so we can dispel myths and learn a few (or many) things.

The first rule of this taboo club is: There are no secrets

In our house we don’t have secrets — bad people tell kids to keep secrets-a topic for another column — so we have surprises! And what is more surprising than waking up one day to find gray pubic hairs.

Not only is sex taboo but aging bodies with sex get an extra heaping spoonful from the


More men should cry during sex

Mindless sex is boring.

Sure, you may get off.

You might forget your problems for a bit.

There may even be a modicum of comfort for a moment while sharing your body with others.

But emotionally connected sex is better.

This is not a push for monogamy or waiting [insert subjective #] of dates...

Taking on toxic relationships

Note: If you are in or a survivor of an abusive relationship and need support you can call Alternative Horizons on their 24 hour hotline, 970-247-9619. If you are not local, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. This...

All the whiz bangs you XY chromosome holders need to spice up your self-pleasuring game

Masturbation is good for the soul.

Too much?

Well, if masturbation isn’t good for the soul it is good for your health. Unless you are brand new to this column then you know I regularly sing the praises of masturbation. The release of feel-good chemicals from touch, stimulation, and orgasm flood a body. Science...

COVID TV consumption has led us down some dark paths

Who has been binge-watching the reality TV shows Netflix has recently added? (/me raises hand!) We haven’t had cable television in over a decade and I had forgotten how horrible reality TV shows can be. My COVID TV consumption has led me down some dark paths — “Are You The One?,” “Alone,” “Strong,” “Survivor,” and there was...

How to handle the awkward, total fun-suck of second dates

A successful first date can be a great ego boost but, how do you move from the first date to the second date? Where do you “go” for that second date? When do you call or text after the first date? And how the fuck do you manage all of this in the middle of a pandemic?

There is a misconception that a game must be played...

Let’s work our way through the entire orgasm

This is the time of year when I offer adult sex ed classes. In this new pandemic world, when putting any number of us in a room together is a portent of doom, I am resigned to offer up some of this knowledge via pen and paper. This is hardly sufficient and I’ll barely scrape the surface on favorite topics but alas, it is the...

Busting myths about sex toys

What if we didn’t train our police to kill? Donate and take action with Black Lives Matter.I promised in my last column to provide a sexually pleasurable topic for this next column. I want you to know that I stretched myself to write this column because I have had to put my business on...

Etiquette, romance, and grand gestures

I feel anxious and tired.

I don’t have answers to folks going without physical touch or sex right now.

I feel lost when it comes to where my energy should be focused.

This month I suggest folks donate to or volunteer for RAICES — https://www.raicestexas.org/ an organization fighting for immigrants in...

Don’t wait until you have a problem

Please support however you are able, the National Bail Fund Network https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory.

“The National Bail Fund Network is made up of over sixty community bail and bond funds across the country. We regularly update this listing of community bail funds that are freeing people by...

Breaking out of small, harmful sex boxes

Moving forward I will use space in every column to highlight a racial justice organization or resource that we all can support or learn from. This is meant to bring awareness and change to Durango, this state, and this country. Please support however you are able, SURJ or Showing Up for Racial Justice...

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