What the hell. It’s fall and I’m sure as hell not eating pumpkin-spice anything ever again, so this week I tried out Rebel Edibles apple pie caramels. I have no regrets.
It all started on an ordinary fall day. I was browsing the menu of a local dispensary and came across these delectables. I was immediately convinced to peel myself off my couch and purchase them. The leaves are changing colors. Halloween is nearly upon us. And everything is either pumpkin or apple-flavored now. At this point, I’m just embracing it. Give my stoner self some apple pie!
Being quite partial to caramels, I was practically drooling when I opened the package. These little sweets are small, but mighty in flavor: sugary yet tart with a strong apple cider flavor and a bit of Saigon cinnamon and sea salt. Can we just stop and appreciate how delicious that sounds just reading that? I am.
Each of the 10 pieces comes with 10mg of THC, so, if you’re a lightweight stoner like I am when it comes to edibles, that’ll put you on your ass. Which is exactly what this did.
For being so sweet and wholesome sounding, these Rebel Edibles apple pie caramels pack a mean punch. I’m currently in the middle of a straight horror movie binge where I’m dedicating myself to watching at least one creepy film a night during the entire month of Halloween. I’m revisiting the classics like “The Thing” and “House on Haunted Hill,” some not so scary fun ones like “Hocus Pocus” and “Nightmare Before Christmas,” as well as some newer ones I’ve been meaning to see like, “Us” and “Hereditary.”
Let me tell you, this is no easy feat when you’re a scared ass like me. I already operate on an anxiety level that borders on sheer terror at all times, but when you add a horror film to that, I’m a candy-eating disaster. Oh yeah — I deal with my terror by eating mountains of candy and passing out in my wrapper piles. I can feel your judgy eyes and I’m telling you right now...I get it. Judge away.
The evening I decided to partake in some Rebel Edibles fun, I decided it was finally time to rip off the old band-aid and watch “Us.” Ever since the trailer was released, I have been a pile of terror just thinking about it. No spoilers, but the idea of running into another version of me that was intent on ending my life with a pair of scissors is not my idea of a good time. That did not make it onto the list of ways I hope to leave this planet.
Based on my reactions while watching the movie, however, you’d have thought I was there with the Wilson family. Unfortunately, due to the effects of the edibles, I couldn’t have run if my doppelganger came bursting through the door with a revving chainsaw if I’d wanted to. I was 100% glued to my seat. It was a good thing I had prepared ahead of time for the munchies because I couldn’t get up to get more snacks either. The best I had was reaching across to my coffee table and picking up a Kit-Kat and shoving it in my mouth. Unfortunately, even opening the wrappers on some of my snacks was an ask too much for this stoner.
Despite my couch lock, however, I had a pleasant buzz going through my head and I felt g-o-o-d. Yes, I was paranoid but I’m mainly attributing that to nearly pissing myself watching “Us” and not being able to handle people with creepy grins coming toward you with scissors.
All in all, Rebel Edibles apple pie caramels are a fall treat favorite from here on out. Just don’t eat them right before watching a horror film. Trust me on that.
Sir Blaze Ridcully